I am not that kind of person who is thrilled by Halloween. A lot of years I simply forgot this holiday. But this year’s Halloween means different to me, because I have DD.
This morning I dressed DD with the cute Halloween costume with a lovely pumpkin and “my first Halloween” on the front. Today is DD’s first Halloween and also the first to me with her.
I am wondering, how many Halloweens I will spend with her?
No matter how many Halloweens I am going to spend with her, I will do my best to make each time a fond memory. And the same with each Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year Eve…
Life is a journey, and DD is going to accompany me for at least the next 20 years. Twenty years, it sounds like a pretty long time, actually will fly within a blinking of eyes. Before I even notice the change, DD will turn to be a beautiful, graceful, and kind young lady!
Whether DD wants to stay with me longer than 20 years is totally up to her. But no matter what, I want this 20-year period to be happy, enjoyable, meaningful and worthy recalling to her and to me.
My life is a journey that I am the only one who goes through from the very beginning to the final end.
There are always people joining and leaving the trip, except for few who stay for years, such as parents, brothers and sisters, husband and children.
Therefore, why not treat nicely to those friends who happen to join my trip? Why not love those limited numbers of people who accompany my trip and become a part of my life?
It is my pleasure to have DD join my life and add another layer of meaning to it. I appreciate this opportunity to spend the first Halloween with her.
Hearing is one of the earliest senses awaken even before birth. Therefore, any practice of fetal/prenatal education, such as reading to the fetus or playing music to it, is actually not a waste of time (see Fetal education in 4th month). This practice continued after birth.
When DD first came to this world, her version was still quite blurry. While she couldn’t identify an object farther than 8 to 15 inches away, her hearing was already well developed. So her perinatal education during the first two months focused on listing to music and talking, which I believe, would help stimulating her brain development and lead to physical accomplishments.
The music I played for her was the soothing and light music which I listened during my pregnancy. Sometimes I rocked her gently along with the music. I told her mommy listened to this music quite often and asked her whether she could remember hearing it when she was in my womb. Although she couldn’t give me an answer, she did seem calmer when the music was on.
Talking was another major stimulation. Since she couldn’t see well yet, the content of our conversion runs randomly from weather, the coming thanksgiving, flattering, game playing, to self-made lullaby (see Baby talk).
These are the principles I follow when I talk to DD:
1. Don’t treat the baby as a bundle of organs who only knows the basic needs like eating, drinking, peeing and pooping. Regard her as a baby human being, who also has senses, feelings, personality, likes and dislikes. Respect her soul, respond to her needs and comfort her feelings.
2. It is fine to occasionally imitate her cooing and uttering back. But most of time it is better to talk meaningfully to her. The wording can be simple, and repetition is fine. But be sure to talk to her with complete sentences, correct and more adult language and things that make sense.
3. Last but not the least, have fun! Don’t feel intimated about baby talking. It should be a fun thing to do.
This is only the first step of hearing education. The next step is to combine visual and audio together, once her version is mature, to improve the efficiency of perinatal education.
I always think health is the biggest wealth a mother can give to her baby (see Health vs wealth). I never realized my own health actually is also critically important to my baby until I read a story online about a single mother.
This mother used to work as a secretary for a real estate company. Her husband was a taxi driver. A few years ago a car accident took her husband away. For years she and her teenage son lived on her meager salary. Her only hope was to raise her child and supported him to go to college.
But this dream was shattered by the shocking news that she was diagnosed to have breast cancer. How can she afford the medical care? How can she pay for the living and tuition of her son? Who will look after the boy when she passes away?
I feel very sorry for this young mother. At the same I think about my own little girl. She is only few month old, who will take care of her if I am not there? I cannot imagine her growing up without me.
I have to be there at present, since I provide her with breast milk, the best food for her to grow and stay healthy.
I have to be there when she grows up, since I want to be change her diaper, wash her clothing, put the blanket back on her at night after she kicks it off, watch her crawl and walk, talk to her and teach her to talk, help stimulate her brain and shape her personality, cook for her, take her to hospital when she is sick, and give her the best care I can.
I have to be there when she goes to school, since I want to help her with homework and projects, take her to library and museums, explain to her this unknown world, enlighten her mind with knowledge and wisdom, and teach her morals and good manners.
I have to be there when she becomes a teenager, since I want to guide her through puberty, back her in confidence-building, encourage her to explore her full potential, and teach her to understand teamwork.
I have to be there when she goes to college, since I want to support her in facing uncertainties and stress, help her find ways to solve problems, and give her suggestions about relationship.
I have to be there when she enters the real world, since I want to cheer for her progress, console for her failure, listen when she has a bad day, advise when she gets lost, and welcomes her with a big hug when she comes back home.
I have to be there when she is getting married, since I want to witness my little girl find her another half.
I have to be there along the journey she is growing up, since I want to make sure she is deeply loved, well principled, and positively supported.
In order to achieve all these goals, I need to live healthily for my baby for as long as I can.
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