As she approaches her second birthday, DD developed interest in playing the emperor in The Emperor’s New Clothes. She loves to strip herself into nothing but a piece of diaper, wrap herself up in blanket and walk proudly around the house. When she tried to go out, I would say “but you have no clothes on!”

She had no problem in bending over from the waist to pick something up from the floor. She didn’t have jumping in place yet, but she kept practicing and could manage one foot off the ground at a time.  

She began to have less patience in sitting still and waiting for the end of stories. She was running, climbing, jumping, twirling, spinning, shouting and laughing. Put into one word, she was always in motion, full of energy.

To help run off her steam, we took her to local parks. As always, she loves to play with other kids, especially older ones. One day, she chased two big sisters in the playground and did as they did. Finally, the two sisters accepted her into the group and played with her. The other day, she easily won the hearts of two older girls and they competed with each other to play with her. And she cried when we had to leave.

This month, the most word DD said was “no”. She said “no” to anything. She pronounced “no” in such a clear and professional way that she earned the title “Miss No-no”.

“Play-with-me” demands
I noticed DD got more demanding when she got older. When I was cleaning dishes, reading newspapers, or in the middle of cooking, she would grab my fingers and demanded me to play with her. When I was working on the computer, she would drag my right hand away from the keyboard. Of course, most time I would go and keep her company.

Little by little, I thought I needed to demand some rights for myself. Otherwise, I will raise a self-centered child who will think she can always get her way. Here are the approaches I did with DD.

• Tell her no and why. If I was in the middle of cooking, I would simply tell her “No, mommy cannot play with you. Mommy needs to cook. Daddy is hungry. Are you not hungry?” A lot of times she would whined for one more try. If she saw I was quite stern on my part, she would walk away and play by herself. But I would go back to check on her whenever the stove was not hot. 

• How about we read? If she just wanted my company, I would suggest to her “how about we read some stories?” Normally, after a 30-to-45-minute reading, she wanted to change the pace and did something else. And I sneaked out of the room and back to my chore.

• Provide other entertainments. Although I used to produce TV programs, I am not a big fan to use TV as a babysitter. But, you know, at today’s information age, it is almost impossible to shun TV from kids. So I learn to make good use of TV, instead of being completely against it.

When I needed some quiet time to focus and get something important done (such as filing the tax report), I would resort to TV for help. But I didn’t let DD watch any TV programs. I inserted a Chinese-language DVD into the DVD player and let her spend some time on her own and learn Chinese at the same time.

Who are you? I am Miss No-no!
According to Heidi Murkoff’s What to Expect the Toddler Years , toddlers love to give “no” for an answer. It is their way to put parents’ authority to the test. And this constant testing of authority is a normal part of toddler growth and development.

When DD could pronounce “no”, she immediately put in into practice. She said “no” to anything, before she understood what she was asked for. She pronounced “no” in such a clear and professional way that she earned the title “Miss No-no”.

One day, when Grandma and Grandpa were here for dinner, we decided to play a game on her.

“Hi, DD, are you a good baby?” asked M.

 “No.” answered DD. Modesty is a human virtue.

 “Are you a bad baby?” I asked.

 “No”, she said. Everybody needs self-awareness.

 “No? Do you really mean that?” M continued, winking at us. 

 “No.” A confirm one. Obviously, she didn’t know what she was talking about.   

 “Do you just want to say no?” Grandpa tried to make himself a winner.

 “No”, still.

 “Are you Miss No-no?” Grandma teased her.

 “No.” She looked at us, wondering what that meant.

 We all laughed.

According to Heidi Murkoff’s What to Expect the Toddler Years , the first attempts at dramatic play almost invariably revolve around family life, with dialogue patterned around the most familiar parental refrains. It is no surprise that “no” is among them.

I was wondering from whom she got the idea of saying “no”…

When the Pandora’s Box of chocolate was opened….
I have been very careful to limit DD’s access to sweets, since I didn’t want her to develop sweet teeth early on. We didn’t give her candies or cookies for snacks (instead, we gave her Carrot & sweet potato mix). We avoided drinking soda or eating ice-cream in front of her. And we didn’t eat desserts after dinner. The only sweet things we gave to her were fresh fruits and yogurt. 

DD had been doing so well on staying away from sweets that she would turn down a piece of cake after the first bite.

All of this was changed when the Pandora’s Box of chocolate was opened.  

DD had her first experience of chocolate at Grandma and Grandpa’s 50^th anniversary in September last year. I shared my chocolate cake with her. As usual, she ran away after the first bite. But a few minutes later, she came back and looked at me. 

Since everybody was having a good time and I was in good mood too, I gave her more bites of the delicious chocolate cake.

Later last year, M and I went to a well-known local Swiss restaurant, which was also famous for its wonderful yummy home-made Swiss-style chocolate. I remember after she took the first bite of the chocolate dessert, DD’s eyes were opened widely. She looked at me and the dessert, and signed more to me (see Baby training, month 14).

On Valentine Day this year, Grandma gave us three dark chocolates candies. As soon as DD finished hers, she wanted mine. Of course, I gave it to her.

We also began to use ice-cream as a treat for her good manners. Since then, chocolate and ice-cream joined her list of favorites.

Currently, we still try our best to limit her sweets consumption. We offer her fresh fruits for snacks and milk or water to drink. Once a while, we buy candies, cookies, or soda. Occasionally, we give her chocolate or ice-cream as a treat. Fortunately, until this day, vegetables and fruits still remain as her favorite food.   

Toddler aggression
It was hard to relate DD to any word like violence or aggression. She was so cute, so beautiful and so adorable. People could hardly hold a smile when they saw her. Unfortunately, I witnessed more and more aggressive behaviors from her.

The first time when she showed toddler aggression was at her 20^th month. That day, Grandma and I took DD to the local library to attend the story time organized by the local school district (see Baby’s growth, month 20).

After the story time, grandma took DD to the kid room in the library. There is a green toy tree hanging on the wall. The tree branch can be spanned to show the alphabetic letters hidden under and the tree truck has a door which has animal pictures inside.

Grandma rotated the tree branch to show DD the letters. But she was more fascinated by other toys, so she walked to another end of the room. While she was not interested, another boy was. So grandma read him the letter while whirling the tree and showed him the animals when she opened the door on the tree truck.

DD was playing by herself in the other end of the room. Suddenly, she marched back to the toy tree and slammed the door on the tree trunk. Then she pushed the boy. The boy looked at her, confused. Seeing that boy not moving, DD pushed that boy again. Grandma immediately noticed the situation. She took DD away from the boy and quickly distracted her with a new activity.

DD’s aggressive behavior may be explained as a lack of verbal facility, according to Heidi Murkoff’s What to Expect the Toddler Years . Since DD didn’t yet possess the verbal proficiency required to express her feelings, needs, or desires, not surprisingly, she resorted to more physical means of expression. 

But, this month, I witnessed DD pushing other kids for no good reasons. Both happened in the local library when M and I took her there to attend family programs.

One time, she pushed a big boy three times when everybody was so excited to see beautiful parrot, dove, and other lovely birds. I was not sure whether her aggressiveness was driven by independence and identity (in order to feel larger and more important), or caused by egocentricity and lack of empathy (viewing their peers as objects rather than as equals). Heidi Murkoff’s What to Expect the Toddler Years gave me a clue but not an answer.

The other time, she pushed a small boy when she and a group of kids were happily playing hide and seek. They all hide in a small corner, waiting to be found. Why she pushed that poor boy this time? They all had fun. The only reason I could think of was an interest in cause and effect. She might think, “Hmm, last time when I pushed a big boy, he didn’t cry; will the same happen if I push this small potato?”

Both M and I agreed that we needed to do something. Besides the approaches we used to tame her temper tantrums, we needed to come up with effective ways to curb her aggressive instincts.

Related posts:
Baby’s growth, month 22
Baby’s growth, month 21
Baby’s growth, month 20
Baby’s growth, month 19
Baby’s growth, month 18
Baby’s growth, month 17
Baby’s growth, month 16
Baby’s growth, month 15
Baby’s growth, month 14
Baby’s growth, month 13
Baby’s growth, month 12
Baby’s growth, month 11
Baby’s growth, month 10
Baby’s growth, month 9
Baby’s growth, month 8
Baby’s growth, month 7
Baby’s growth, month 6
Baby’s growth, month 5
Baby’s growth, month 4
Baby’s growth, month 3
Baby’s growth, month 2
Baby’s growth, month 1

Tags: Baby Growth | Baby's Growth, From Lina, Second Year | Lina | June 3, 2010 12:28 pm | Comments (0)