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There are 101 reasons for breastfeeding the baby. But nobody told me one fact: breastfeeding is a pain, real physical pain.
The first time to breastfeed my baby was life-time memory. When I saw the cute tiny one sucking my nipple and held her with my arms at the same time, that combined feeling of happiness, excitement, nervousness and surprise was beyond expression.
Soon this mixed feeling was replaced by discomfort, and then by pain and even a little bit fear.
For a couple of weeks, breastfeeding became a torture for me. The first few sucks of each nursing were so painful that I had to bit my lips tightly and took a deep breath. Although it only lasted for few seconds, the pain was sharp. Sometimes I could even feel the withdrawal of milk taken by DD’s rhythmic sucking. The nipples were bleeding too.
At the same time, I expressed milk after most feedings in order to stimulate more milk production. The push of nipples against the plastic pumping cups also made me feel uncomfortable.
When they were engorged, the two breasts became so sensitive to withstand even a gentle touch.
Towards breastfeeding, I changed from being eager to nurse to a little bit hesitances, reluctance, even to a little bit resentment. At one time, I asked myself: Am I really be able to nurse my baby for a whole year?
But I knew breastfeeding was the best for my baby. Since it is part of the motherhood responsibilities, I didn’t give it up.
“It will be better.” M said, “Your breast tissue will become tough and soon you will not feel so painful. Then you will enjoy nursing the baby again.”
That is my hope too. But no matter what, I will still fulfill my one-year commitment for my baby and keep on breastfeeding.