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I have never realized the hardship of being a mother until I become a mother myself. Within one month, I quickly grew up to take the responsibility of motherhood. It was the most physical demanding period in my life. However, when I recall this period of time, a sense of achievement and success filled in my heart.
I feel proud of myself!
Imaging that in the very beginning, I didn’t even dare to tough the baby. I was afraid I would drop her. I didn’t dare to hold her, not to mention burping or rocking her to sleep. When she cried, I didn’t know what to do but called grandma for help.
Whenever the feeding time came, M brought the baby to me and helped position the baby for a good latching. After I finished nursing, M took the baby, burped her and gently talked to her to sleep. At that time, I felt I was just a milky cow!
But I could not keep doing this way, since M only had two-week vocation time to stay with me and the new baby.
I had to quickly learn to be a mother and take my responsibilities. I did make it within one month, although it was not easy.
I remember the hesitance of picking the baby up and holding her the first time, although it only lasted for five minutes.
I remember thinking all kinds of ways to make myself fell confident and comfortable about nursing: adding pillows, sitting on a rocking chair, getting a nursing pillow, borrowing a pillow chair, and etc. Finally I found the most comfortable way to nurse the baby.
I remember the discomfort and pain of breastfeeding. The first few sucks of each nursing were so painful that I had to bit my lips tightly and took a deep breath. The sensation of milk coming down of my breasts was both interesting and different. Sometimes my breasts were so full that I couldn’t even touch them.
I remember the craziness to take care of the baby when M went back to work. DD was so fussy during those days that I didn’t have time to finish the lunch. Several times she cried when I just began to have my lunch. I rushed to her room to calm her down. When she finally dose away, it was already close to the dinner time.
I remember those long and sleepless nights when DD’s fussiness went to peak. M and I took turns to hold her and tried everything we could to calm her down. It was quite common for us to go to bed at 3 AM or 4 AM in the morning.
I remember the struggle to jump out of the bed to feed DD at midnight. Literally, I had to jump out of the bed, otherwise I would still lingered on the bed, trying to get few more minutes of sleep. I also remember myself fighting to keep my eyes open when DD was still widely awake and looked around curiously with her beautiful big eyes at 3 AM.
I remember… a lot of details. No matter those memories are sweet or painful, they are unique and worth cherishing.
I have entered a brand new stage of my life: being a mother.
